I Think of Them as Friends

I found "I Think of Them as Friends"- Interpersonal Relationships in the Online Community by Nancy Baym to be a very interesting article on a couple different levels. This article discusses the people on R.A.T.S. (a soap opera discussion and opinion site) and how they interact with each other. So, you would think that a website filled with cat loving (it says it in the text!), soap opera watching women talking about their opinions of the show would be full of opposition, but it is surprisingly not so. They call oppositional language "flaming," and it is looked down upon in the R.A.T.S. community. Instead of resorting to "flaming," these women avoid confrontation. The do this by qualifying their opinions (like "I may be wrong but...), apologizing for disagreeing, and by framing their argument as non-offensive (as in "I think it's funny that..." or "No offense but..."). They also build interpersonal relationships online to avoid confrontation. They use each others names, partially agreeing with differing opinions, acknowledging other perspectives, and elaborating on their opinions to avoid confusion. But what I'm asking is "who cares?" My view is that you're never going to meet these people.

The weird thing is...they do meet each other. They send each other gifts and lend each other their cars when members from out of state are in town. Some of them consider each other their best friends! I find this so interesting that they initiated their entire relationship on the fact that they like the same soap opera. I can't imagine not seeing a person more than once a year and considering them your "best friend." I mean, I haven't seen my friends from high school and our friendships have already lessened. Maybe I'm just a skeptic, but I don't really believe in online dating or any of that nonsense. Maybe this is just a giant conglomeration of non-confrontational people, and that is why they get along so well.